Grief
Offer and transcend your grief*
Abstract
The only panacea for grief is to realise the eternity within you. Getting to that stage is a long haul, but you start connecting with the psychic influence as much as possible. Erect a ‘cinema screen’ in front of your inner eye and connect with all your grief, but from a higher poise. Allow the film to naturally replay. You are the director and central actor in this film. Allow your feelings to spontaneously arise and observe your reactions. When you conclude the film, offer everything the film brought up within you during the film. Offer everything to the Divine. Finally, integrate yourself, infusing Peace and equality throughout your whole being.
As long as we live in a state of transience, grief and other erroneous movements will always keep knocking on our door. The minute something is snatched away from us, grief surfaces in an automatic response. When we perceive that we have lost something, we grieve: it is as simple as that. But what is the solution to grief? The only panacea for grief, like any other human affliction, is to live in a state of Oneness and eternity. The truth is we have nothing that can be lost because we are everything and we have everything. However, getting to this knowledge is a mighty task, so we need to look at ways of dealing with grief as it stands with us today.
The integral way does not observe things in isolation. It attends to a multiplicity of finer details but always as each one relates to the whole. Because of this, once grief is conquered, other afflictions and difficulties will inevitably be resolved too. As each single movement gets rectified, it is addressed in conjunction with the rest of our being. It is almost simultaneous. To a degree then, there is a ‘domino’ process to our inner change and transformation. However, it is very necessary to do the ‘hard yards’ in the first place! There has to be much practice and preparation before the fruits of this yoga get totally integrated within us. There is a vivid sense of momentum and progress when one engages in Integral Yoga and moves from one small victory to the next, but nothing is truly resolved until everything is transformed. Once one starts on this path, one has to go to the very end.
There are ways of working with grief which open a door to this sublime conclusion. The most necessary condition is to establish a much centred poise. If a relationship with your psychic being has begun, it is this foothold which needs to be repeatedly attained. There is a motion of alignment and constant realignment around this unique entity. We have to learn to look at all our movements from the eyes of the soul. When we learn to do this, everything falls magically into place. We gradually find the solution to all our inner disharmonies. We witness our patterns and finally, through this influence, everything can be changed. Our awareness becomes dynamic and graduates into a consciousness, accompanied always by a transmuting Force. The alchemy comes from our growing connection with the psychic influence, which possesses this capacity to truly change.
Here, we are specifically looking at grief, but the process described is valid for dealing with any other negative pattern. The first step to dealing with it is to establish a connection with this evolving soul. A radical shift is ultimately required as the psychic being exists in a different dimension but its influence can be felt even in the initial stages of yoga. The connection should be treasured and nurtured and put above every other consideration in life. Nothing durable can be achieved without this. The psychic being is a little different from the soul itself as it is something which evolves through our countless lifetimes. In a sense, it surrounds the soul, which represents an unchanging spark of the Divine. The psychic being on the other hand, is the Divine Person with a unique individuality; it organises our unique destiny and contribution to the world-play.
With the psychic being also comes a true understanding and discernment, an ability to intuitively distinguish between wrong movements and right. If we can manage this, then grief does not need to remain a factor in our lives. However, many of us live in a halfway-zone between awareness and realisation, so an assiduous practice and vigilant presence is a first necessity. Whenever you find yourself consumed by grief, try this procedure. It is simple but not easy to practice so it may require repetition. It is a challenging way to counter an extremely difficult condition but its action will assist your growth and point the way to a greater inner mastery.
Erect your cinema screen
Close your eyes and relax the body, though not in an inert state. You need to be attentive and alert. Centre yourself as much as possible and call the Divine for guidance and help. If you have a connection with the Mother, ask Her to take over. Turn your consciousness inwards and focus on the subject of your grief. Try to separate yourself from what you view as a film that you are replaying on a cinema screen in front of your inner eye. Let the plot unfold and try to be as present as possible.You are the director of the film although you are also playing the central role in the drama that is taking shape on the screen. As the director you can change your own actions and responses in the film or allow them to naturally arise.
Play back any memories that spontaneously come to you. Don’t select the sequence; just play whatever your memory evokes, good or bad. Grief is a complex emotion and does not always stimulate pleasant memories and moments, there may be anger, guilt, fear or passion intermixed in the play that is taking place.
While watching, do not identify with the drama and the roles. Remain connected and centred, knowing that you are also just a spectator sitting in a cinema-hall. Watch yourself and the other actors on the screen as disinterestedly as possible. It is right to experience the drama and feel the grief but try to observe your own reactions from a more central or higher station. Is there a part of you that is separate from this grief? Keep your station and observe what happens to your emotions as you do this. Does their character change as you place the light of your consciousness upon them? In certain cases, given the right poise, there can be immediate resolution.
If the grief is too overpowering and if it is too difficult to maintain this disinterested and centred poise, do not fret or judge yourself. Just extend this with a loving acceptance. This doesn’t define you at all. Allow the emotions to naturally arise in you and come to the surface. Above all, do not suppress them and just accept it with love. It is very important to experience the furnace of this grief. How can one offer something that one has not experienced?
You are the director so the conclusion is entirely up to you. Do whatever spontaneously comes to you and conclude the film.
Offer everything
Then offer all that this film brought up within you to the Divine. If your connection is with the Mother, offer it to Her. Offer your part in the film and all the other actors in the drama. Offer your grief and whatever other emotions the film has induced. Offer your entire being to the Divine. Offer your experience. Leave everything at her feet.
Finally integrate yourself. Apply whatever way you use to integrate yourself. You can integrate yourself through your body-consciousness because, of all the parts of the nature, it is the body that has the closest affinity to our psychic being or soul. The Mother has commented on this. This is why the body is such a beautiful channel and barometer of our inner states. It provides a detailed map of our inner psychology and when one is armed with consciousness, everything can be put to right. Everything surfaces there. We want to harmonise our being and for that, we need to integrate.
With your eyes closed, connect once more to the Divine and observe, as disinterestedly as possible, what is happening at the top of your head and then move slowly downwards. Just see or feel what is there. Is there still pain or some sense of discomfort? Without judgment, just place the light of your consciousness on that spot and wait for the knowledge to come. The truth behind the disturbance is always enough to dismantle it all together. Be patient and let the consciousness give you the answer. It may take a little time. As soon as it is resolved, move onwards and downwards through the body.
The integration is also taking shape with a descending Force so ask the Divine to help you become conscious of this descent. Ask the Divine to integrate your being around it. This Force is the Energy of transformation and works from the top of your head, right down to your feet. Let the consciousness show you anything, be it pain or discomfort, that is arresting this descending Force. Don’t premeditate any difficulties but observe every hidden corner. The knowledge is there to heal your nature.
The culmination
When you are conscious of a continuous flow of energy coursing through your body, experience the difference it is making to your being. Do you feel a descent of Peace showering through your being and body? I have come to realise this dynamic Peace as the hallmark and culmination of this practice of integration. How has the state of your consciousness shifted? Look at the whole and not least the body itself.
After the offering and catharsis comes the integration. It pulls together all the strands of your being into a unified whole. An integrated being is one capable of confronting the shocks of life, such as grief, with true equality and peace. It marks someone who is consciously preparing for transformation. To integrate is an exercise in true living. True living realises the Divine that is you.
*This article is a synopsis of a session, which took place on 25th March, 2021 at a NAMAH online workshop, ‘Overcoming Loss and Grief’.
James Anderson is a member of SAIIIHR and coordinating editor of NAMAH.
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