Growth
The Role of Pain and Suffering in our Growth*
Abstract
This article explores the multi-faceted role of pain and suffering in personal growth, offering perspectives from the individual to the universal. It delves into Sri Aurobindo’s insights on evolution, revealing how disruption catalyses transformation. Emphasising an integral view, it suggests pain as a temporary experience within a larger reality of oneness, urging a shift in perception in order to embrace life’s challenges as steps towards realising our highest potential.
Reframing pain and suffering: through many perspectives
Our experience of pain and suffering is deeply personal. But what if we could step outside our own perspective and view it through a wider lens? Imagine a scene: a tiger hunts and kills a deer. From the deer’s viewpoint, this is a terrifying ordeal, a fight for survival that ends in death. Yet, for the tiger, it’s a successful hunt, a means of sustenance. Here, the same event unfolds through two vastly different perspectives.
We can zoom out further. From the ecosystem’s perspective, this isn’t just predator feeding; it’s part of a food chain keeping the ecosystem in balance. The ecosystem maintains its harmonious wholeness through this cycle of life and death. Even further out, we can consider Earth as a living entity. The tiger and deer become part of the vast current of life flowing through our planet. Pain and suffering become part of a larger story of evolution on earth, progressing through a continuous cycle of creation and destruction.
Finally, there’s the integral perspective — a unified view of reality proposed by ancient Ṛṣis as well as modern yogis like Sri Aurobindo. From this vantage point, everything arises from Delight, is sustained by Delight and returns to the Delight of pure Sachidananda. Pain and suffering become a surface-level experience within a larger reality of Oneness and Delight.
It’s important to remember that, while we can intellectually grasp these broader perspectives, experiencing them directly is challenging. However, by acknowledging these different perspectives, we can start to see the pain and suffering not just as negative forces, but as part of a grander, unfolding process.
The individual spectator of the drama of life
Our human perspective often gets caught in the narrow frame of ‘me’ and ‘mine’. We see experiences happening to us, and pain becomes a stark contrast to our usual neutral state. Joyful moments might feel natural, but pain stands out like a flashing alarm. We hold onto these painful memories because they seem to contradict our inherent nature, which we intuitively sense as one arising from and moving towards Delight.
However, from a broader perspective, this ‘negation’ of our true nature doesn’t exist. Pain becomes part of a creative dance, much like the work of a playwright or filmmaker who crafts a spectrum of experiences, including romance, sorrow, and heroism. Indian aesthetics recognise this through the concept of Navarasa — the nine tastes of existence — where pain (duhḥkha) is one element in the drama of life.
Interestingly, even sorrow can be secretly enjoyed when presented with the right kind of distance. We seek out movies and stories that depict conflict and pain because that distance allows us to experience the full spectrum of emotions, including heroism, victory, and even fear. The thrill of a horror movie or a bungee jump comes from pushing ourselves to the edge and experiencing that intensity — fear, pain, even sorrow. The key is having that distance.
The issue arises when we lack that distance. Stuck in our subjective experience, identified with our thoughts and emotions, we lack the perspective to witness the full drama of life. Pain, then, feels overwhelming and all-consuming.
Pain and suffering in the evolutionary journey
Even within the evolutionary process, pain and suffering find their place. Sri Aurobindo, in his The Synthesis of Yoga, proposes two key principles governing nature’s workings.
The first principle is a drive towards increasingly complex harmony. Evolution progresses from simple to complex forms, each stage a more refined expression of wholeness. However, the second principle introduces a counterpoint. As forms solidify, they also tend to stagnate and become rigid. This rigidity, according to Sri Aurobindo, necessitates a breaking down, a dissolving, to pave the way for a new, more complex level of existence. Think of a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly — a necessary destruction of the old form to create something more magnificent. Sri Aurobindo even connects this concept to rebirth, seeing it as a necessary condition for immortality on the material plane. Just as new forms emerge from the breakdown of the old, so too can consciousness transcend limitations through a process of renewal.
Therefore, destruction, experienced as pain and suffering, becomes part of a larger creative dance. It’s the breaking down of the rigid and outdated to make way for the next level of complexity and wholeness in the evolutionary journey.
Stepping out of our comfort-zones
Stagnation, whether of the ego, a mental construct, or an emotional or physical habit, acts as a barrier to our evolution. Ironically, our very desire for comfort and harmony at the physical and sensory level can lead to this fossilisation. We build comfort-zones, routines and ways of being that eventually become impediments to growth.
Leaving our comfort-zone is scary. It involves a disruption of the familiar order, a venture into the unknown. Ideally, we would consciously choose to step out, seeking new experiences and fostering personal growth. However, if we cling too tightly to comfort, the evolutionary force may intervene, pushing us out with a ‘crushing blow’.
Often, this push comes in the form of painful life-experiences — the loss of a loved one, a job or some other significant setback or disease. These disruptions, though painful, can shake us awake from our comfortable slumber. They create a churning within, a dissatisfaction with the status-quo and a yearning for something more.
This churning is a crucial step in the awakening process. The larger consciousness, the greater wisdom that permeates everything, may use these experiences to break down our rigid patterns and propel us towards a greater potential.
The pain of disruption: a catalyst for transformation
The quest for self-transformation goes hand-in-hand with a potential disruption of the status-quo. As we evolve, we may leave behind familiar family and friend circles, causing discomfort for those around us. In some cultures, this can lead to accusations of selfishness, making the seeker a villain in someone else’s story. Similarly, societal change-makers who challenge the status-quo often face significant resistance. History is filled with examples, like the crucifixion of Christ, where positive change can come at a great personal cost. Pain becomes the price of progress, the inevitable consequence of being a disruptor.
However, just like physical pain endured while scaling a mountain can be seen as a stepping-stone towards achieving a great view, discomfort can also lead to a higher purpose. The pain of being ostracised or misunderstood can build perseverance, strength and resilience. It pushes us through resistance and ultimately helps us reach the peak, both literally and metaphorically.
Even seemingly unbearable physical pain can hold a different meaning when viewed in the context of a larger purpose. Imagine the love and purpose Christ embodied, even while being crucified. He embraced the pain not as an ordinary person would, but from a deeper perspective. He understood that he was bringing a force of love and harmony that the world wasn’t yet ready for.
The world, then, becomes a stage where the ‘Delight of existence’ plays out in all its various forms — war, love, pain, and joy. By developing a wider perspective, we can learn to embrace this drama, even the challenging parts. We can find the thrill in the dangerous encounters, the very experiences that bring physical, emotional, and mental pain. As Sri Aurobindo suggests, such ‘hell’ can be a necessary shortcut to the ‘heaven’ of our highest potential.
The ego: A hurdle on the Path
The biggest challenge in this process is often the ego. The ego personalises all experiences, making us see everything as happening ‘to me’. Remember the different perspectives we explored — the deer, the tiger, the ecosystem and so on. The ego clings to the ‘deer’ perspective, the one that sees itself as the centre of the universe. It identifies with the body, emotions, senses, thoughts, and ideas, creating a limited container for the immense potential within.
This potential manifests itself as the evolutionary impulse pushing for growth. For those with potential, the ‘Divine’ might intervene, metaphorically acting like the tiger that devours the deer’s ego. Imagine a lotus seed — its hard shell prevents it from sprouting. To facilitate growth, the shell needs to be thinned. Similarly, the ‘Divine’ might need to ‘grind’ at our ego, a process that can be painful if we don’t understand its purpose.
On the path of yoga, we learn to recognise this potential-seeking manifestation. The ‘Divine conspiracy’ works for our ultimate good, even if it means discomfort and disruption. Shifting our perspective beyond ‘me’ allows us to see these challenges as opportunities for growth — a push out of our comfort-zone.
This is especially true for those compressing multiple lifetimes into a single one. The accelerated growth requires shedding outdated patterns and moving from one level of being to the next. Comfort-zones, once established, ossify and thus need to be broken. If we resist this internal nudge, greater forces may intervene, ruthlessly exposing and dismantling anything hindering our full potential.
Pain and suffering, then, become indicators of a needed shift towards a greater harmony. They point to something within us that has become rigid and needs to be released. Whether it’s a thought-pattern, an emotional habit, or a physical limitation, we must identify and loosen our grip on these fossilised aspects. Only then can we truly move beyond the pain and step onto the ‘sunlit path’ of fulfilment.
The Fire Within: fuelling progress
The key to embracing discomfort and stepping out of our comfort-zone lies in connecting with the Agni within — the Sanskrit word for fire, signifying the innate divine will and aspiration to progress. This fire, like the potential in a seed, compels us to sprout, grow, and evolve. Without connecting with this impulse, we remain lost in confusion, unable to understand the purpose behind the pain we experience.
Pain, in Sanskrit, is referred to as Vedanā, which literally means, “the absence of Veda. Here, Veda doesn’t refer to the ancient scriptures, but to the ‘secret knowledge of the heart’, the truth of our being — the spark of Sachidananda (blissful existence) residing within. This spark seeks manifestation, fuelling the fire within us, the fire that seeks beauty, delight, harmony, freedom, and ultimately, immortality, which aligns with our true nature.
The more we open to this inner fire, the stronger the impulse to evolve becomes. This translates into a greater capacity to leave our comfort-zones, shed old habits, and embrace new possibilities. However, various parts of our self might revolt against this change.
Internally, a revolt may manifest as emotional turmoil, physical discomfort or even illness. These are signs of internal resistance, different parts of our being clinging to the familiar. Here, patience is the key. We need to acknowledge these parts, hold space for them to express their fears and trust the process.
Imagine yourself as a theatre witnessing the drama unfolding within — the Navarasas (nine emotions) playing out as different aspects of your being grapple with change. This inner drama mirrors the external drama we face when societal change-makers challenge the status-quo. Even if faced with criticism, isolation, or opposition, the change-maker, driven by this inner fire, understands that the pain is temporary, a necessary step towards a greater good. Those clinging to the old order simply lack vision. They act out of a need to protect their comfort-zone, unaware of the dream burning brightly within the change-maker’s heart. While the change-maker may not have all the answers, a deep intuition guides him, leading him forward even in the face of isolation and potential conflict.
Think of Socrates, poisoned for his ideas, or Christ, crucified for his message. Their stories exemplify the inevitable breaking down of old forms to pave the way for the new. Progress often requires the courage to stand up and break what has become fossilised, both within ourselves and in the world around us. It’s a daunting task, but the ‘glory of progress’ awaits those who embrace the fire within and navigate the challenges that come with it.
Embracing the crucible: a dance of transformation
Progress requires a willingness to break, to endure the pain that comes with stepping out of the familiar. However, this isn’t about self-torture. It’s about having a clear vision — the peak we want to climb. This vision fuels our strength, perseverance, and conviction, allowing us to navigate criticism, accusations, and even the suffering of those caught in the wake of change.
Sri Aurobindo describes this as “heavenly cruelty,” the divine Force moulding us like unwilling clay. Change-makers, those who take on the burden of shaping society, often do so amidst resistance and cries of pain. Yet, their actions stem from a deep love, a recognition, that clinging to outdated structures leads to suffering.
We may find ourselves on either side of this process. Our own habits can be broken by the evolutionary force, a force that exposes and transforms every hidden corner within us. This can be excruciating, especially for the ego. Just when the ego feels it is making progress, basking in its perceived spiritual advancement, the ‘dark stuff’ hidden beneath the surface gets pulled out. This temporary regression can be disheartening, but it’s the ego clinging to a self-image that feels the pain.
This is where detachment becomes crucial. We are part of an intricate play, with both an internal and external stage. Within, our emotions play out as dramas; outside, the world presents its own grand theatrics. Our desires often cling to outdated patterns.
Once we connect with the Agni within, the fire of progress, and the Veda within, the secret knowledge of our being, then pain becomes more manageable. The pain itself doesn’t disappear, but we gain a vantage point. We see the peak we’re climbing, the direction of the fire within, and with a sense of surrender, we embrace the challenges. When we perceive ourselves as part of the all-pervading, animating force, then challenges become opportunities for growth.
Freedom through surrender
True freedom lies in letting go of the moulds that hold us captive. We cling to external forms, mistaking them for our identity, source of joy, and definition. This clinging, the ‘I, me, and myself’ ego, must dissolve for us to enter the realm of true freedom. Freedom requires surrendering to something vaster. Initially, letting go may lead to a sense of emptiness, a void. Here, some might believe they’ve reached the end, finding peace in nothingness. But this is a passive peace, a mere starting point.
The true journey lies in opening to the Śakti — the Divine Force. We surrender ourselves to the creative process, the constant unfolding of Delight seeking new forms. In nature, we see this principle everywhere — the endless freshness, the uniqueness of every leaf.
*This article is based on a presentation, with the same title, Manoj Pavithran gave on 4th January 2024 at the Conference, ‘Understanding & Eliminating Suffering & Pain at Society Hall, Pondicherry, organised by NAMAH, the Journal of Integral Health.
Manoj Pavithran, an Integral Yoga practitioner and educator, is co-founder of Purnam Centre for Integrality in Auroville, India.
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